As the new year approaches, so does the first of our biannual “encounters”, so to speak. Strangers though we may be, I can’t help but feel a certain fondness towards you. Maybe this next time I’ll do more about it than just wish you a happy birthday.
To what end, though, I do not know. It probably won’t amount to anything.
I cannot even begin to express how much I hate you. I hate you for turning out to be just a figment of my imagination. I hate you for every time I find myself missing you. I hate you for every night I fall asleep thinking of you. I hate you for everything I write about you. I hate you for every song that reminds me of you. I hate you for every dream I have about you. I hate you for showing me glimpses of a happy life. I hate you for how amazing you are. I hate you for everything you’ve put me through. I hate you for breaking me. I hate you for stealing my heart.
I hate myself for loving you, nothing more than an illusion.
I will come for you one day and I will take you with me. We will leave this place and go somewhere far away, where we will live together for the rest of our lives, just the two of us.
We will be each other’s everything and we will be so happy together. I will love you with all my heart and you will love me back.
“One person for the rest of your life? It’s like eating only one type of food for the rest of your life, how would that make you feel?”
The bachelor type. So naive.
She looks exactly like you.
She has your eyes, your lips and smile; she has your hair, your nose, your ears and every other feature. She walks, talks and sounds exactly like you.
But she isn’t you, and neither is she real. That’s why I love her.
I lost you this morning. For the first time, I saw how it feels to truly lose you forever.
Everyone was there. I started crying and I fell to my knees in despair. I kept saying how alone I was. Everyone was there, except for you.
All I want is to just walk up to you and tell you how pretty you are. I can’t, however, for fear that I might die.
So for now, you’ll just have to deal with me staring at you. And staring. And staring. And sighing. Then staring some more.